


Crowns and Scales

by zerozaki_Zen



Series: Ereri Twisted Tales AUs! [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, BASE ON A GAME: REINS, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), But their cool and their vegetarians, Centaur Jean Kirstein, Comedy, Crossbreed of Magical/Supernatural Creatures, Crossdressing, Domestic Fluff, Dragon Eren Yeager, Elf Sasha and Connie, Everything is a mess, F/F, Flirty Eren Yeager, Freeform, General Erwin Smith, Ghost Marco Bott, Happy, Humor, King Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Levi and Mikasa are Rivals, Light-Hearted, M/M, Magic, Magic-Users, Magical Creatures, Mikasa tries to kill Levi, No major problems, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Princess Krista/Historia, Roleplay, Romantic Comedy, Scientist Hange Zoë, There are still Titans, Top Eren Yeager, Werewolf Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Witch Mikasa Ackerman, Wizard Armin Arlert, for the mean time~
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-11-01 18:56:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10927965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zerozaki_Zen/pseuds/zerozaki_Zen
Summary: The Kingdom of Trost is in the middle of places that are totally gonna make you palm your face...  a lot. In a world full of shit the King finds himself a dragon.King Levi is bored of being king, sitting on his throne, making decisions, giving orders and other royal shit. There is no action until his general informed him of an abandoned castle complete with a fearsome dragon and a damsel in distress.The king was set on a quest to destroy the dragon and..... paying bills?Witness the bored king's story as he finds entertainment, friendship, romance, rivals and a ton of useless shit!Concept was base on the pc game: Reins





	1. The Bored King

**Author's Note:**

> Zerozaki here, with a new SnK fic! I hope you all like this little escape from reality fic. Do I want to warn you all ok? Sometimes the contents of this fic will blow you to another world or make you do the face palm.
> 
> Also, this can be a good break for those who read to many angst stories like me(my heart is breaking but their really, really good stories). Relax and enjoy a little out of this world story. ENJOY!

"King Levi, the trees are talking shit again, shall we dispose of them, your Majesty?" Petra kneels in front of her king in the throne room. 

The throne room is as extravagant like what your thinking right now. There's a red carpet in the middle of the room like any regular throne room, only with hidden eyes and a mouth at where Petra is kneeling... It's a monster carpet owned and tamed by his majesty Levi. The red monster is very useful for instant execution and it save time as well as space, if the cells are getting over crowded.

"Dispose them and threaten the rest I don't want those trees spitting shit on my kingdom." King Levi said, boredom wrote all over his voice. Half of his brain is thinking about sweets and pastries and how much he wanted to find and eat a gingerbread house. And the other half is thinking about cutting those damn trees and stock firewood for winter.

He knew those trees won't stop until one of them are being cut down. His people might hate him for cutting those trees but what can Levi do? His people cuts trees, makes paper and write on paper "Stop cutting trees"? That's bullshit. 

"Yes, your majesty!" Petra straighten, giving a deep bow before she made her way out of the throne room.

Levi stared at her until she disappeared, he's hoping that Petra will get the job done he wanted to hear those trees screaming their pain and the colors of their leaves change too when they're in pain, it was beautiful. Instead of shit why can't they just sing like the birds. This morning he wakes up hearing the birds sings "Shape of You-yo" it's doesn't make any senses, who the heck is You-yo? Anyway, it's much better than hearing the trees daily shit. 

"Your majesty it's time to harvest the strawberries." Erwin was standing on his side with a tablet on his left hand, he didn't notice the giant but he was thankful that he reminded him about his strawberries. Those plants weathered if you don't harvest them immediately.

"Oh yeah, thanks for the reminder." Levi grabbed his phone from his pocket and opened the farming app. "How did you know about my strawberries?"

"We're neighbors your majesty and it is a great honor to me that you accept my request. I knew because I visit your farm and watered them for you." 

"I see, thanks." Levi didn't bother looking at him he's busy tapping the screen harvesting strawberries from his farm. "Anyway, why are you here?" Erwin his general, only comes near him if there's news.

"I'm here to inform that the kingdom's defenses are at top conditions however some members of the survey corps discovered something interesting." Erwin passed he taps on his tablet.

Levi remembered the survey corps. He used to join them, traveling beyond the territory sometimes he went so far and got separated from the group, his 3DMG ran out of gas and he was forced to walk and fight monsters. And that's when he actually felt alive. Only the sour thing is that the monster he battled didn't drop a single gold and some didn't want to fight they rather paid Levi to teach them how to use the smartphone, damned those monsters. But those are still the best days, now his king his days are nothing but boring.

Levi turned his attention to the tablet that Erwin handed to him. It shows the castle and some of the members of the corps posing like idiots.

"An abandoned castle guarded by a dragon on the far west of the territory, rumors said the dragon kept a princes' hostage on the tower." Erwin tries to sound like the narrator from the very beginning of every RPG game or every medieval theme movie.

Erwin can be annoying sometimes but Levi focused on the dragon and the hostage princes' part. Maybe this is his chance to finally leave the castle to explore beyond the territory.  
Rescuing the princess is a good excuse. It was perfect!

"I want to rescue the princess." Levi stands up from his throne, returning his phone from his pocket and started spitting orders to the maids and guard to prepare for his journey. Erwin quickly reach to his side.

"That's excellent your majesty when will you depart?" Erwin can tell that this is a good idea. The king has been down lately, everyone is worried because it affects the king's decisions like instant executions and sometimes wars. Also, the Kings magic is so strong sometimes his mood affects the weather like last time there is snow in summer. Everyone decided at the motto: With a happy king, there is a happy kingdom! Yey!

He was thankful that one of his team found an abandon castle complete with a dragon and a damsel in distress. 

"Right now," Levi said as he exits the room. Erwin followed him to the halls. Every person he in countered bows down to him even the flowers on their vases. But Levi never trust flowers especially yellow ones after playing the game "Underthere".

"I will prepare your horse then and check the-"

"No, I'll use the 3DMG and that's final." Levi continued down the halls ignoring Erwin's reaction.

"Of course, your majesty." Erwin seems to know Levi's true intention but he brushed it off. At least, the king is happy.

 

Levi felt the blood rushing through him again as he jumps and flew past trees and sometimes monsters. He manages to get rid of Erwin and the rest of the guards from the beginning. Now he was flying freely with his 3DMG, he rests on one of the branches of the biggest tree and fished his phone out of his pocket. Turning on the GPRS he tried to locate the abandon castle.

He had no interest in saving the princess if there really is one. He'll just pretend she was eaten or died during the process of rescuing. But he didn't mind fighting the dragon, it's been years since he fought a monster. Today he avoided monsters especially the old females monsters called Titans, they tend to grabbed Levi and squeal how cute he is and ask him to marry their granddaughter or grandson. Good thing he was fast he easily escape their grasp.

"Straight ahead." his phone instructed him. He flew towards the directions, he always checks his back to see if Erwin or the others catch up but he saw none. He continued going forward until he reaches the end the forest and landed on a rice field. That's odd who planted rice here? The rice looks well and the plots are well maintained with water flowing endlessly. 

Good thing he landed on a walking path and not in the center of the plot. Just thinking of mud on his boots makes him want to vomit. He quickly walks through the walking path and reaches the high ground. He checked his boots if there is a tint of mud in them. He relaxed to find none, he notices then that there's an empty sack of high-class rice fertilizer on the side.

"Guess someone is farming here." he said to himself.

"Up ahead" his phone instructed him again. He continued walking up the hill and he was welcomed by a sign saying: "abandon castle" with an arrow pointing up.

There were a mountain and the castle rest on top. The escalator is not working so Levi ends up using his gear. It is much faster than taking the stairs anyway.

When he reached the top the dragon is right there, it seems like it's waiting for him at the supposed to be the front garden of the castle. It was huge with its wings and the most beautiful eyes that Levi every seems in his life. He decided to take both of those eyes with him as souvenir.

He grabbed both of his blades and prepared for battled.

"Perfect." Levi can't help smiling. "This is perfect."


	2. Paying the Bills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The King is not paying the bills.

"This is perfect," Levi was about to charge the dragon but he stopped in his tracks when his phone scream at him. Literally, he made the trees' "scream of pain" as his ringtone.

The dragon nodded to him, silently telling him to answer the phone. Levi just stared at the dragon who is currently flipping the pages of a clothing magazine. It was the latest summer issue and everything is 50% off. 

Levi took his phone and turn it off, he threw one of his swords to the dragon to get its attention. The sword hit its head with clank, it didn't do any damage like those ghost pokedon that is not affected by normal attacks, but it got the dragon's attention back to him.

"I am king Levi of Trost and -"

"Your a king? So you're here for the princess?" the dragon cut him off. His voice is surprisingly boyish like voice of the hot boys in your school that doesn't know you existed or something like that.

"Ahhh, sort of?" Levi didn't expect that there will be a real princess in there. Why do dragons even guarded princesses in the first place? Is this Super Marion all over again? Because Levi will definitely eat those mushrooms just to get bigger.

"Here, you can have her," the dragon stretched its neck reaching the tower, it puffed a little fire inside the window, a high pitched screech came from the smoking tower. The dragon turned back to him with a smile full of sharp teeth, "She'll just run down, here's your bill by the way."

"What?" The king stared at the paper that magically appeared in front of him, it was huge and so as the bills to be paid.

It clearly said: 168,235 gold for the rent of the tower which is the most expensive room in the castle, 11,598.1/2 sea salt for using the wifi, 3,875 silver for water and electricity, 56,542 gems for the food, 34,521 golden lumberz for using the jacuzzi, 4,569 pink sand for the membership in Yeagerland and 1265,52852122.55 diamonds for her debt in the casino.

Levi dropped his sword after seeing those huge amounts to be paid but he doesn't have to save the princess and pay these shit. The screech grew louder until a blonde princess with a crown and all typical princess appearance came running out of the castle. Her blue eyes sparkles as she saw Levi, thinking that all her debts will be paid.

"Oh, my prince- ahh... umm..." obliviously she forgot her lines. She took a peek at her palm where all the lines are written with emojis. She was about to open her mouth when Levi interrupted.

"I'm not here to save or pay your bills, bitch!" he expected to see the wonderful horror on her face but there was none. The princess actually thought that Levi was talking to the female dog beside her. How did that dog get there in the first place?!

"I'm referring to you princess." The princess gasped in horror. Levi should have taken a picture of her face, it will surely be trending worldwide. 

"But you are my prince and savior!" she exclaimed. 

"I'm so done with this shit." the dragon muttered it's annoyance and continued scanning the line of checkered polos on the magazine.

"Why can't you just eat that bitch," Levi is so done with this too. 

"The dog?" the dragon looked up from his magazine. 

The dog ran up to Levi, playfully barking at him. He clicked his tongue and glared at dog, the living fur ball whimpered and runs away.

"The Princess, idiot." his brows furrow at the dragon's respond. Does Levi had to point it out every time he say the word "bitch"?

"Humans are high in cholesterol." the dragon resumes at whatever his doing.

It was true though, humans are very high in cholesterol. That's also the main reason why monsters especially Titans refuse to eat them and they all stick to greens and other gross yet nutritious food. And the humans help them by making condiments that will make their veggies yummy. And they all live in f**ken harmony.

"Hello? Is this how you treat a princess?" The princess tapped her shoe impatiently but not too much she didn't want to ruin her Pradaah shoes. The two started talking about the checkered polo shirts and how long the sale will last. She can't believe that these people ignored her. She decided to use her last resort.

"I AM PRINCESS HISTORIA OF KINGDOM ACKKK!" a pink petal flew right inside her mouth while she talks. She didn't realize that there was a cherry blossom right to her left and the petals are starting fall. Somehow, stuff just appears on the grounds of the Abandon castle deluxe.

Her intensive coughing caught the king's attention. But he didn't help her. "What did you just said?" He watched the Princess cough out her misery. He really like what he saw.

"Hey! Eren! Help her! She's still a customer!" a blonde boy shouted in one of the castle's open window. The dragon completely ignored him. 

So the dragon's name is Eren. Levi almost forgot the purpose why he came here. He still want to those eyes though.

The boy waved both arms to get the dragon's attention. He wore a hat that is too big for his head and a robe that is also too big for his body, he waved his wand that looks like it's made of fake silver and other things that you don't need to know. He flew out of the window and landed ON the coughing princess.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry!" He quickly helps the princess on her feet. 

Levi stared blankly at the two blondes. The boy looks like he was about to cry and the other one looks relieved that the impact made her spit the petal out of her throat. She's giving the boy a reassuring smile to tell that she is ok. Levi is thinking that maybe he should go home.

"Are you the prince?" the blonde boy asked as he approach Levi.

"No." Levi is not lying since he's not a prince anymore so technically he didn't break any rules his mother gave him.

"Armin, his a king he doesn't need a princess." the dragon is typing at his phone, requesting his selected clothes to be delivered to his door.

"B-But business is going down because of her." The boy named Armin tried to whisper but the princess can still hear it.

"My prince will save me!" she looked at Levi with pleading eyes but Levi find it more annoying.

"I'm not your prince." Levi said coldly, it was accompanied by instant thunder and lighting.

The three stared at him, speechless. He felt like the awkward atmosphere is choking him to death. Armin suddenly kneeled on his feet and the princess followed slowly.

"Please forgive us in our stubbornness, your majesty! We will never bother you anymore!" Armin yelp. The princess behind him looks like she was about to cry. Levi can't stop thinking that maybe the two are siblings or clones.

"Look it's fine, but I won't pay her bills," the princess looked up at him with worried eyes. "You need to work off your bills, princess."

"That's impossible. She doesn't know how to do any house chores, she might make more damages." the dragon snorted.

"True, is there anything else you can do?" he turns to the princess who is obviously never held broom in her entire life. 

In Trost culture, princes and princesses are only names with no power, they went school like any regular child and do regular stuff but everything will change once they are coronated and it took a lot of shit to adjust.

"If you can't do anything I can put you up for auction." Levi didn't mean it but he likes making other people miserable.

"What?! Please don't your majesty! I- I know how to act! Yes, I'm really good at acting!" she taps her cheek repeatedly, thinking of what can she do with her acting skills. Princess Historia's face lightens up when an idea hit her. "How about we put up a play?"

"And drag the rest of us?" the dragon complained.

"But that's all I can do for now. We don't need to spend much on the production but if someone is willing to help, we'll welcome it with open arms~" she gave Levi a cheeky smile. 

"I won't help financially." Levi crosses his arms on his chest. He had a bad feeling about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm a nerd.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Backstage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The king is the big, bad vampire-wolf stepmother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to check out my other fic~
> 
> The World Behind those Walls

The reason why King Levi stick around is that he did not want to go back to his boring life in his castle yet. But standing in the mirror looking at his reflection made him want to change his mind.

He was wearing a black gown with a linen of silver and black strands of web. A black corset with blood red strings that wraps tightly around his waist. On his neck hangs a necklace that looks like a spiders web, the webs are silver with diamonds placed randomly like the morning dew, complete with a gem that is in a shape of a black widow spider. Armin cast a spell to make his hair longer and replace his human ears with wolf ears, the blonde wizard also added a few details like fangs and a tail. They all say that the role fits him.

Of course, Levi refused to put on makeup but Princess Historia begged him to put a lipstick on. He clutched the lipstick like it's about to break. He can't believe his doing this for the sake of a temporary freedom. 

He's fine with female clothes but his still not used to wear it. Since it is acceptable for both genders to wear opposite clothing if it suits them and Levi looks dazzling on his costume but the makeup is a hell no. What's the reason? Dirty. Make-ups are dirty. But he looks dead with all the black he wore, it made his pale skin paler. He looks more like a vampire than wolf or both. Why did he even agreed to this? Plus, the stage is ready and worst there is no script to follow. The princess reasoned that there is no time for making the script and they all have to do everything on the spot and go with the flow. Good thing the Abandon castle deluxe had its own theater room.

"Get ready everyone! The show will start in an hour!" Armin shouted at the megaphone. It seems like Armin enjoys this more than the princess.

The workers in the Abandon castle deluxe must have a soft spot for the princess since they all agreed to help with her shit. The only person who thought of this as a burden is him and the dragon. Speaking of the dragon he hasn't seen the dragon since noon. 

He watched at the corner as the workers are panicking to get the props and costumes done. It's a good thing Armin introduced him as a traveler instead of a king.

There was a centaur named Jean who is attached to a ghost named Marco, a forest elf named Sasha and a culinary elf named Connie the both of them are the chief of the castle. There was also a witch but Levi hasn't seen her yet. And he assumed that the dragon is the owner.

The audience must have arrived already, Levi can hear people chatting with a mixed of roars and growls. Armin really did a good job spreading the news in the outernet, people started to flocking in the castle.

Levi peeked between the red curtains, scanning the people in the area. There are titans at the back and there's a weird hairy one, normal village people, bunch of fairies, and other magical creatures that you usually saw in fantasy movies and on fantasy RPG games except that most of them are busy with their phones and other gadgets, leaching at the castle's wifi. Armin must have added that to the flyers. Levi caught sight of a yellow hair.

"Shit!" Levi cursed, backing away from the curtains and rushing towards the backstage. 

He completely forgot about the group and Erwin but it seems like Erwin forgot about him too since he saw Erwin finding a good seat with a big-ass popcorn bag on his hand and so as the rest of the group. But he can't let Erwin see him like this! Or maybe he's just over reacting since Erwin is the one who chooses his clothes for a party one time with a dress code of "any female clothing". Yes, he's just over reacting. Speaking of Erwin, he hoped giant blonde didn't forget about watering his crops on Green Ville Farm 3.

He snapped back to reality when he bumped on... a wing? He blinked several times to clear his sight and his mind. The owner turned around, blue-green eyes glared down at Levi.

"Hey, watch where you going- your majesty?" the speaker's features soften when he recognized the king. "Wow, I hardly recognize you." he gave the king a boyish smile.

Levi eyes wondered from head to toe. This guy is blazing hot! The guy with a chocolate hair was 10cm taller than him which pissed him so much. However, his anger subsides when eyes focused on his beautiful tan skin. He was wearing a blue and white checkered polo, the one that Levi admired on the magazine earlier. 

"Ahhhh.... Are you a wolf? Or a vampire? Ah! A ghost wolf!" the brunet chuckled and scratch his head.

Levi knew he looked like a ghost right now with the absence of color on his skin. He clicked his tongue at the sudden reminder to of using makeup.

The brunet noticed the lipstick that he clutched on his left hand. 

"Let me help you." the brunet took the lipstick from his hand. He removed the cup and turn the handle, extending a blood red colored stick. With his free hand, he lifted Levi's chin. "Please part your lips." 

The shorter male didn't follow, he stared at the stick like it was a predator and he was the trembling prey, so he forced him by using his thumb.

Levi shivered as the stick touched his lip but he was taken aback by the familiar gorgeous blue-green eyes. It looks exactly like the dragon's. Up close, Levi noticed that there is more color in it than plain blue-green. It's like watching the waters of the Caribbeans, beautiful but there is also a hint of danger in them like the Caribbeans sea. It was beautiful, magical at the most, however, monsters are ready to pounce at you even if you are just on the shore. 

The brunet leans back and examined his work. "I think I put too much."

Levi didn't manage to protest when the brunet suddenly places his lips on his. It was a short kiss but Levi felt like he was zapped in the contact making his heart beat faster and his magic stir inside him. He felt his damn tail swaying from side to side.

"There, now you look like a......... vampire-wolf?" he voice is full of confusion as he lean back again and stared at Levi.

"Who are you?" He asked as he massaged his temples. Levi's mind and magic are still recovering from the zap. 

"Ouch, you forgot me already your majesty? I'm Eren Yeager and I'm the dragon." he reach out to scratched the king's wolf ears but the Levi backs away immediately.

"Idiot, you didn't even introduce yourself in the first place," Levi stared down at the wooden floor, then he noticed that there was a basket with no handle, there was a red ribbon tied around it and it was full of yellow, rectangular block thingy. "What is that?" he gestured at the basket.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Eren took the basket and showed it to Levi. The king eyed the contents. "It's exotic butter. I got them from my part-time job, though it only lasted five nights but it was fun." Eren just laughed at the memory from his work, animatronics chase after him and tries to kill him. It was fun. The last animatronic did say something about getting out of that place but Eren brushed it off, it's not important anyway.

"I think I won't stay here any longer..." Levi said, moving to the snack corner where Armin put the pieces of bread and drinks for them.

Eren followed him like a dog excited to be fed by his master. Or one of those annoying dogs that once you pet them they will follow you to the ends of the earth.

"Why? After the show, Armin prepared a little celebration, regardless if the show is a success or not." Eren started slicing the bread in halves and he gave it to Levi.

"Pffft. That's nice but have you forgotten? I'm a king, I can't just leave my kingdom unattended for my personal enjoyment," Levi took the bread and scrape butter inside, they will toast it later. 

"Plus, my general is in the audience. Once he notices me I'm going back. But.... It was nice to have a break for once in a while and meeting all of you." Levi kept putting butter on the bread, he wonders what will the exotic butter taste.

"I don't think they'll recognize you, I myself hardly recognize you before. It was your beautiful stormy eyes and your smooth white skin that made me... thought... it was..... you...." Eren felt his face heated, he can't believe he said that out loud and it was too late to cut the sentence.

Levi stopped putting butter and stared at the brunet, flashback!!! This dragon kissed him! How can he act like nothing happened? Now it is clear that this dragon like him. 

"Eren." 

Both of them turned around at the owner of the voice. The owner was a witch, she wore a hat just like Armin but it just her size and it was white like her Japanese like robe, only the red scarf around her neck is out of place.

"Mikasa, do you need anything?" Eren cheerfully said. Thank goodness, Mikasa came to save him. 

"Armin is looking for you." she calmly said.

"Ok, I'll go and see him. See you at the play Levi!" and he disappeared. Levi was glad as well because he had no idea how to respond to that. He continues putting butter in the bread.

"Hey, you," the witch named Mikasa called out.

Levi can feel the hate vibes coming out of her. For some reason, he already hated this witch. He finishes putting the butter and he faces the girl.

"I don't like you, to be honest, you can say that I'm racist because I don't trust vampires, plus a crossbreed like you." She stared at Levi from head to toe. Like how the bitches on your school does every time you encounter them and stuff.

"Anyway, if I found out that your using minds tricks on Eren, I'll decapitate you with a pure silver stake." she passed Levi while bumping him on his shoulder.

Levi glared at her but she never looks back at him. Did that bitch really think that he is vampire-wolf?! Still, he hates her guts and the way she talks to a freaken king!. In addition, he doesn't do any mind tricks to make the hot dragon guy like him, that bitch is just jealous! 

"Places everybody! The show will start in 5 minutes!" Armin called out.

They all gathered up, while princess Historia said her little thank you speech, Eren is winking at him, base on his costume he'll be the dragon. Levi felt dagger-like glares on him, he notices the witch in an old lady costume. She lifted her finger, running it on her neck then she pointed at him. How dare she! Who does that girl think she is.

So she's in the show eh? Well the show has no script or anything so why not turn this little play into a battlefield?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who are not aware of some of the games that were mentioned, I'll list it down for you if your want to check it out. You can play it if you want or watch someone play it on youtube~
> 
> Underthere - 'Undertale' there is a yellow flower that will betray you. PC games
> 
> Super Marion - 'Super Mario' there are mushrooms that can make your character big. (I put this up too just in case)
> 
> Eren's part-time job where he got the exotic butter - 'Five Nights at Freddy's: Sister Location' animatronics came to life and kills you. If you beat the game your boss will give you exotic butter. The last animatronic will follow you to your house. PC game
> 
> I think that's all just ask me for any questions! I'll just add more in the future if I mention stuff.
> 
> Thank you for reading!!!!


	4. The Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The king is always the main character.

"Once upon a time, there lived a princess named Krista Renz so let's just call her "PK", Princess Krista is way too long." Armin narrated on the microphone. The audience agreed with this, some are nodding their heads.

Well, that's one way to start everything. There are no script but Armin will be there to narrate and keep the events flowing, he will also adjust if one of the characters mention something new.

Princess Historia was in the middle of the stage, picking and smelling the fake flowers- wait! There are not fake flowers or paper, their sweets! The Princess turns towards the two elves. They both held their thumbs up to her. She sighs, at least they have flowers....... with red ants.

Her shrieked bounced on the walls of the theater. Some of the audience mumbled 'she's good'. She threw the candy on the audience, the hairy titan caught it with its long arms.

"I got it!!" the Titan shouted, lifting the candy like it was a trophy. The rest of the audience cheers like how the people cheered when their supported team in a sport scored or won.

"In continuation, what the princess didn't know that her big bad, evil vampire-wolf stepmother was plotting something that can cause her death!" Armin continued after the audience settles back.

With the help of Armin's magic the set was placed swiftly. Levi quickly ran to the stage as princes Historia exits. 

Levi didn't bother to look at the audience, fearing that Erwin and his gang will notice him. He approached the huge looking mirror. If this is like Snow Whitey he thought it will be a piece of cake since he knew the story.

"Mirror, mirror on the.... middle of the room, who is the fairest of them all?" he 

Marco, the ghost appeared in the mirror. He paused as he stared at Levi. Marco never paid much attention to the traveler before because of his grumpy aura but now up close he can clearly see that this person is-

"Ahem! Mirror!" Levi knocks at the glass when the ghost didn't say anything.

Marco panicked, not just because his the middle of a play but also because of the person in front of him. "I'm sorry!" Marco kneels down in apology. "You are the fairest of them all, Your Majesty King-" 

Clash! Levi punched the mirror at the side, cutting Marco from revealing his secret. Some pieces fell off the frame but there are some that remained to show Marco's trembling ghost form. Levi took a handkerchief and wiped his hand, because of the barriers he got from his magic, Levi is unharmed. 

"I know that already, my dear mirror. Is there anyone else?" Levi smile at him, telepathically ordering the ghost to shut it.

Marco straighten and proceed to his role. "I'm afraid there is! My majestic vampire-wolf stepmother! And she goes by the name PK!".

"PK? You mean Krista? Good, cause I want her died! Now, Hunter!" Levi shouted. 

The forest elf named Sasha glides to the stage with a bow and arrows at her back and a potato on her mouth. "Yes, maam?!" She saluted to her master.

"I want that PK dead and her head on a silver platter!" Levi order. The elf nodded and ran out of the stage.

Before Armin started narrating and Levi exit the stage, Eren flew in the middle of stage, grabbing Levi's hand.

"My beautiful raven, you are already the fairest of all creatures. You made this elemental dragon's heart beat faster, like how the wifi of this castle lets you watch Themtube with no loading." Eren kneels down and kissed Levi's hand repeatedly. The audiences and Armin went "aww". 

"Please leave PK be and marry me."Eren continued. The audience and Armin went wild at the sudden proposal.

Wtf?! There is nothing like this in Snow Whitey, Levi screamed internally. He flinched as he felt the same dagger-like glare on his back. 

"Still!! I want her died in multiple reasons! One is for not paying her debt!" Levi snatched his hand out from the dragon's and he marched out of the stage.

Eren was left kneeling on the stage like a lost puppy.

"Oh my god! What will happen next to the puppy dragon and the vampire-wolf?! Please stay tuned as we proceed to the PK and the hunter." Armin spoke in the microphone.

Eren went limp even his wing. He dragged them as Armin fixed the stage replacing it with a forest like setting

Princess Historia skipped to the stage she avoided the side where there are candy grass and flowers. Then Jean the centaur came with Sasha on his back. His arms were bent backward to served as the reins. 

"Nye...." Jean said with pure irritation in his voice. "Ouch! I mean, nyeh nyeh!" he corrected as Sasha pulled his arms to stop.

"Aha! There you are PK!" Sasha shouted like she discovered golden potatoes. "Your stepmother sent me by the way. Goodbye!" she grabbed an arrow and aimed at the princess.

The princess gasped and decided to play dead with matching last minute coughs, choke and reaching for the light. 

Jean watched with boredom, he only agreed to do this because Marco asked him. He felt like something is crawling up his front feet, he looked down and saw a swarm of red ants tries to climb up. Panicking, Jean lifted his front feet up, kicking the ants out. He didn't notice that Sasha fell from his back.

Sasha groaned in pain as she lifted herself with her elbow, she paused as she saw the swarm of red ants climbing up on her body.

Princess Historia sat up after hearing the two's screams of despair. They both tried to get rid of the ants off their body but the ants kept coming, both of them ran out of the stage screaming. The audience laughed but the laughter faded as the room begins to feel cold.

The ants froze as Misaka in an old lady costume enters the stage.

Princess Historia manage to keep the show playing. "Who are you? Did my stepmother also sent you?"

"I used to work with your stepmother but that bitch used mind tricks on my brother, the dragon. I'm here to help you kill her." Misaka said and she glared at Levi who is watching from the side.

"K-kill her? But I can't..." the princess clearly doesn't know what to say. She didn't expect that it will end this way.

"Here, a pure silver stake used it to decapitate her." Mikasa gave her the stake.

The Princess accepts it with trembling hands then she notices that it was real! 

"Oh no! What a turn of events!! Will the princess kill her?! Or will her stepmother have a happy life if she gives the puppy dragon another chance?!" Armin announced and the audience cheered. 

"Vampire-wolf and puppy dragon forever!!" one of the audience shouted.

Armin replaced the set while the audience cheered.

Levi blindly step on the stage wearing a face saying 'what the f**k is going on?'

Princess Historia approached him with the stake on his hand. When she's at arm's length to Levi she threw the stake on the audience, surprisingly Erwin Smith caught it and hid it in his jacket.

"Stepmother! I know the cure of your insecurity! And that is if you give that puppy dragon a chance!" she held Levi on shoulders and gave him a gentle shake.

"What the?" Levi is lost.

"I saw how both of you look at each other. How he puts your lipstick on and he kissed you!" the princess exclaimed. The audiences cheered, some are asking 'why didn't they saw that scene?', others are 'are they a real couple?' 

'The f**ken princess saw them?!' Levi internally screamed. He doesn't know what to do anymore. Maybe he should call Erwin out and go home but that's what cowards will do.

Before he can do anything, Levi saw red. An ice shard hit his left shoulder, blood spotted on Princess Historia face. Her scream was joined with the audience's.

Levi can see the witch from behind casting another set of ice shards. So the witch really wanted to kill him but Levi's current thoughts are still lost, will he keep this little show-up or destroy the witch? Erwin might recognize his magic.

"Oh shit! What will happen now?!" Armin shouted. "Will the vampire-wolf finally be honest with herself and defend her love or will she just kill the old lady?! Stay tuned for the next chapter!!"

Levi can hear some of the audience complained 'what?!'

Everything is messed up.


	5. The End is not the The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The king always wins.

Mikasa threw another set of ice shards on the King's direction, Levi is quick with his feet but his shoes are slowing him down. Princess Historia runs away from the scene and went to Armin's post, asking him to stop the show but the blonde wizard totally ignores her. Levi notices the culinary elf on the audience collection their bets.

"Anyone who is interested in the current fight can kindly place their bets on the boxes which our very own culinary elf"s holding! Please make it quick we never knew when will this fight ends!" Armin cheers on the microphone, Princess Historia kept shouting at him to stop but of course, it didn't work.

What is wrong with these people?! Levi internally screamed. Misaka is very determined to kill him, casting more and more shards, her power is making the whole castle drop its temperature which the audiences and himself as well, get comfortable. He thanks the witch for that since he wore too much clothing.

"Hey! Listen I hate your guts but let's not have this petty fight and go on with the show." Levi calmly said but the witch is not listening to him.

An ice shard scraped his cheek. Damn this girl! His shoulder stops bleeding thankfully because of his magic. He wants to teach this girl a lesson but Erwin and the others are there, watching the whole scene.

"Mikasa stop!" Eren flew on the center of the stage, facing Mikasa. "Mikasa, why are you doing this?"

The ice around melted as Eren's voice reached her ears, her expression softens as well like the anger and rage were wiped away like the super absorbent cloth that you usually seen in home shopping networks.

Armin snapped his fingers and a black hole appeared on where Eren was standing making him fall into it in a second. Armin snapped his fingers again, closing the black hole.

"You can have your moment later, puppy dragon. Now, are the bets are in?" Armin happily announces and the crowd goes wild. Connie came running with the two boxes full of cash, gems, rocks, minerals, and all type of expensive and useless shit.

Mikasa instantly switches to killer mode and summons thousands of small sharp ice shards and again making the whole castle comfortably cold like what air conditioners do.

"Fuck," Levi cursed at loud. He can't dodge those little things. Luckily someone from the audience threw him a broom in time when Mikasa aims at him. He effortlessly breaks the ice that reached him, spinning the broom to shield and dodging the rest that manages to slip in.

The crowd went crazy. Levi can see Erwin and the rest of the group cheering their lungs off, throwing popcorn everywhere. Erwin was standing on his seat and yelling "You can do it! Ice Lady!". Anger roused on Levi, his freaken general is not cheering him but on the witch. He considered it as treason and he already decided the right punishment for the stupid giant.

"I won't let you have Eren," Mikasa said on a deep unfamiliar voice.

"Oh please! Will just stop being a bitch?!" 

"You're the bitch in the first place! You blood-sucking, flea-catching crossbreed!" 

"Now you're just being racist!" Levi is not a crossbreed but to be treated like one with discrimination and prejudice is not his cup of tea. Maybe he can make a law about this.

"So what?!" She cast another batch but it failed to even scratch Levi now that he had his own weapon. "Ugh!! That's it!!"

Levi felt the whole castle shake, the audience was surprised as well only Armin is unfazed with the situation. The audience started to panic and ran to the doors but Armin closed and lock each with his magic. Levi has no choice, he had to stop Mikasa.

But he was interrupted by an unknown feeling coming from his gut. Pain shot to his insides that made his legs betray him, he was sweating none stop and panting. What is going on with him? Did Mikasa do this? He manages to look up to the girl and glared at her but Mikasa was also surprised with his actions. His vision started to blur until he saw darkness.

PUFF!

The sound made the panicked audience turned their attention back to the stage and also the castle stopped shaking. On the stage, Mikasa was still there but she looked shocked while the Levi was nowhere to be seen except for his grown was pooled around on a small black wolf. The audience "aww," at the cute wolf and return to their seats like nothing happened.

"What's this?! Oh! The moon was out in the sky! Our dear vampire-wolf transformed!" Armin said with glee, his very proud of his magic's capabilities.

Levi blinked his eyes to clear his sight, he clearly heard Armin and tries to sink the information in. Then he started growling, that darn wizard cast him a whole package spell. Levi hated this, everything looks so big and his senses are stronger than normal he can smell all types of revolting scents.

"You bitch!" Mikasa quickly covers her nose with her red scarf but it was too late she started sneezing repeatedly. Levi never felt so content at the sight.

"Oh no! Our ice lady is extremely allergic to dogs! I guess we have a winner then! Congratulations, big, bad vampire-wolf stepmother!" The crowd cheers after hearing Arin's announcement. "For the people who won the bet. you will receive your money automatically on you left pockets." Armin snapped his fingers.

Mikasa was about to run off when a weird looking animatronic enters the stage.

"What the?! That's the animatronic from Eren's part-time job!" for the first time Armin sounds panic.

Levi was about to run off too when the space in the middle of the stage ripped off by large claws. Eren was in his dragon form, his neck came out of the torn space and released a deafening roar. He must be calling for Armin.

"Opps, I forgot about our puppy dragon. Hehehe~" Armin snapped his fingers but instead of pulling Eren out the black hole it started to pull everyone in the room in.

"Oh no!" Armin shouted as the incredible force sucked them in. Others tried to grab at anything they can reach but it was no use, Erwin, the staff and even the ghost named Marco were sucked in too.

Levi didn't manage to get away or do anything, with his small wolf body he was easily carried by the force.

The force pulled everyone in and it closes afterward, leaving the abandon castle deluxe in complete silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you asking if I'm crazy?
> 
> Yes.
> 
> Yes, I am.
> 
> Thank you for reading~~


End file.
